Work-life balance took a back seat to talk of financial security, overscheduled children and Blackberry addiction at a recent luncheon in New York City sponsored by Executive Moms. Four dynamic speakers (and a spitfire moderator) had the crowd laughing and moaning and brainstorming ways to combine motherhood and a career in these precarious times.
"People who aren't asking themselves, 'What will I do if this job goes away?' are out of their minds," said Jean Chatzky, author of The Difference: How Anyone Can Prosper in Even The Toughest Times, who blogs at www.jeanchatzsky.com.
Working moms in attendance worried aloud about whether their children are picking up their parents' anxiety about finances, not to mention the pressure to get into and pay for good colleges.
"The end of the race is a happy, contented human being with good self-esteem," was the reassurance offered by Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist and author of The Ripple Effect: How Better Sex Can Lead to a Better Life. "Colleges aren't looking for someone who can do everything. They're looking for someone who has found something they're passionate about."
Even more than the sage advice, I appreciated looking around to see a ballroom full of working moms committed to raising healthy, happy children while also pursuing their careers and staying sane. I attended in order to write about the event, but I ended up laughing and learning as much as if I'd been any other attendee. If you have an opportunity to get together with other working moms to compare notes -- informally or at an event like this -- I highly recommend it.
Photo of Gail Saltz by Sigrid Estrada
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I’m so glad to see there is a support/networking group like this. Though I’m amazed anyone could break away from the office since we all seem to be so tied to doing extra work and having no down time at all with all the new corporate/economic pressure.
But I’m not myself these days… When one of my children went into crisis this year with a mental health issue, I tried reduce my work schedule to take care of her (from 60+ to 40!).
Instead, I was backed into a corner by the company and forced to take a reduction in salary to go with my hours (from 60+ down to 30+, but paid for 20 hrs.) They told me I was lucky they were still providing benefits.
But just this week I was told they didn’t need me anymore since they found someone who can travel weekly and work unlimited hours. So I’ll have plenty of time to take care of my kid, but no way to pay the mortgage, COBRA or food bills.
Yes, I have a husband. Yes, he has a job. But he’s taken more than a 60% pay cut after being laid off recently.
I am really good at what I do. I love my job, but I do love my family more — as well we all should, seeing how companies treat people like crap. So much for my years of loyalty and hard work.
And people wonder why women don’t climb the executive ladder as much as we are capable and willing. Goodness, we’d be too kind to people and ruin “progress.”
I agree with Chatzky, we should all be looking at “what next” and with eyes wide open to the reality of this economic world. In business, you’re only as good as the last thing you’ve done for the company, you can and will be replaced quickly if you don’t show that the company is your number one priority at all times.
I just wonder, if I were a man, or if my kid had a physical illness instead of a mental health problem, would this have turned out differently?
The upside: I am confident my child will be OK once we figure everything out and get the right treatment; and I know I’ll always be successful in business because I’m good at my jobs and a good person.