Work-life balance isn't just for moms anymore. In fact, because working dads are relatively new to the extreme sport of juggling work and home, researchers find that they actually experience higher levels of work-life conflict than moms, as I wrote in an article for Slate today.
The sluggish economy and job market have put added pressure on all of us at work, and men are no exception. Looking at the last year, one in ten working dads told a CareerBuilder survey their spouse became unemployed and 42 percent have added a second job. They're working longer hours, spending less time with kids and bringing work home, according to the report released yesterday.
At the same time, men are placing more importance than ever on their role as parents, according to a year-long study by the Boston College Center for Work & Family. "I make such a commitment to my family and being there for them," said Tom, one of study participants. "There's just a natural inclination to believe that my wife does the bulk of the work." Today's fathers see their family responsibilities as far bigger than that of breadwinner, and aim to be present and accessible to their children, the study found. Summing it up, Boston College professor Brad Harrington said: "The experiences of men are radically different than they were 25 years ago."
So this Father's Day, consider taking a moment to ask the man in your life -- whether your father, husband or friend -- what challenges he's facing. You just might have some work-life balance truths to share with each other. As Jason Avant, founder of DadCentric, told me: "What fathers want more than statistics and research is knowing that they're not out there alone and that people are understanding and empathetic about what they're going through."
Photo credit: Malek Chamoun/Getty Images
Follow me on Twitter | Join my LinkedIn Group Connect with me on Facebook
More:
The number of parents who both want to work or need to work is no longer in question. Many have long dismissed notions of needing to adopt some Father Knows Best idea of “happy family”. A happy family is one in which each member thrives, people negotiate for the good of the whole, the realities of life are demonstrated to the children (and not a fantasy where everything is rosy), and children are taught responsibility and contribution to the family unit.
I work with an Au Pair agency, ProAuPair, and I truly don’t think a better model exists for helping the working parent (esp given our model with Au Pairs who are educated, in their 20s, including those with special needs specialties). An Au Pair enables you to have a close relationship with the caregiver, they can work a flexible schedule for you (from 7 am to 8:30 am and then come back online at 2:30 pm through 8 pm. This kind of flexibility allows you to take time on the weekends to be together as a couple, and while it doesn’t satisfy the still ongoing need for more accommodation for work/life balance for the parents, it does offer one of the best measures for peace of mind that your children are achieving as close to family care as possible. As long as those of us who dedicate ourselves to this concern professionally keep beating the drum, the rest of the orchestra cannot help but hear us. Change may be slow but it will come.
Katherine-
I couldn’t agree with you more. This is the crux of the issue. Dads need to start discussing this more in order for any real change to occur. As you know from my film, I do feel hopeful, but it’s going to take some real bravery on the parts of dads to step up to the plate in this way.
Keep up the great work!
Dana
Thanks for the mention, Katherine. As to Dana’s remark that dads need to “start discussing this more”, we’ve been talking about this on DadCentric for 5 years now, and so have many other dadbloggers and writers – as well as the spouses and partners that support them.
I spent 10 years as a specialized technical recruiter before becoming a pro WAHD writer. What is striking is the shift in workplace mentalities as it applies to highly educated, specialized workers; there’s been a noticeable increase in the number of companies that allow for flexible work schedules for
moms and dads. And the job market itself is shifting; anytime there’s been a massive recession, we see a rise in new small businesses and entrepreneurs. This is a silver lining for dads like myself, who now no longer have to worry if their company’s HR department is going to approve a request to work from home.
That said, the bulk of parents – moms and dads alike – won’t benefit from this. Most jobs still require one to be away from home. Working dads would all be better served if, rather than whining about how we’re so put upon by Society, we looked to working moms as allies in the constant struggle to be the best parents we can be.