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Readers Respond: Working Mothers Share Comments They Hate to Hear

Responses: 30


Every working mother has heard a comment that makes her see red. "I wouldn't want to be a mom if I couldn't stay home with my kids." Or perhaps, "I could never leave my baby all day long."

Check out these comments that working mothers hate to hear. Then, please share the thoughtless comment that raised your hackles. Share Your Pet Peeve

This one makes me seethe

"I can't imagine letting someone else raise my child!" My own mother worked full-time my entire childhood and believe me, even though she delegated some of my care and carpooling to others, she sure as heck RAISED ME. Just as I am raising my own kids thankyouverymuch.
—Guest catherine

I didn't make a choice

People who talk about sacrificing so they could stay home and giving up vacations...if I didn't work we'd have no roof over our heads or food on the table. The argument always seems to focus on moms "choosing" to work -- if I has a choice I would be home. I don't and I try to make the best of that situation.
—Guest Caitlyn

I hear this frequently

Actual comment-"Wow, it must be really hard to be away from your son all day." My interpretation- "You heartless *****" My response- "Being away from my son all day makes the time I do spend with him much more valuable." (Which is totally true!)
—Guest Sarah

This one gets me...

"I envy you." Isn't the grass always greener on the other side?
—Guest Robin

Don't expect me to take up your slack

THis is not directed to the moms who work to put food on the table. My husband has a high stress job, he's a military doctor who has been on several deployments and has long work hours so we made the decision that I would stay at home with the kids. Military doctors are not rich so we live in a modest home, don't go on expensive vacations, etc. This is directed to those moms that have to fulfilled with their career and live in expensive homes and go on expensive vacations and live the high life. Just because I chose my lifestyle, don't expect me to take the slack for volunteering, carpooling your kids to whatever travel sport they play in....my time is just as valuable as yours!

SAHM and former Mom worker

I have to say thats it is ten times easier to be a working mom than a SAHM. However, being a SAHM is fifty times more rewarding. Sometimes a moment of adult time would be so nice! Dads seem to not share as much in parenting when mom stays home and then your "job" is 24/7 365 with little or no relief. Working moms and single moms are jealous and spite you, while you wish you could take a shower!!! It is worth it, but walk a true mile before you judge. And no weekend and evening parenting does not count as a mile!
—Guest Kate

no rec sports for working families

I am so frustrated. Every sport, every rec activity requires our kids be there and ready while most of us working moms are still on the clock of our 8-5 jobs.
—Guest vab


The one I most hate to hear is when working mums accuse me of watching Opera all day. I garden, I cook, I hang out with my kids, I am buggered by the end of the day and very happy that for 20 years since my first child was one year old, I worked and worked hard and now I don't have to work. I have never been happier staying at home with my kids who are older but love having me around. Yet still, even though I have worked very hard, if I say I stay at home with my kids, working mothers hate me. My worth is measured in money only and the only merit that is recognised is that which is related to paid work. I despise feminism now because it now persecutes women the same way that men used to in the 50s. Feminists accuse women in more traditional roles of being worthless.
—Guest Melinda

SAHM think they have it hard

I hate hearing SAHMs say "I'm a chef, a taxi driver, a nurse, a housekeeper"... blah, blah, blah. Do you think that I don't have to do all that just because I have to work & you don't? I do just as much laundry, cooking, errands as you but I do it after working all day. That means that while you are snuggling with your hubbie after a hard day of being with your kids, I am mopping the floor or finishing homework or cleaning up cat puke. And by the way, If your kids are in school all day long while you are at home watching Lifetime movies then you are not really a SAHM, you are just lazy. It also means that when you are having a fun weekend with your family, my children are not because Mommy has to rest sometime. I can't be running here & there everyweek end & still have enough me & rest time to do a good job at work.
—Guest Carrie

for mothers who do not really need a job

This is for mothers who do not really need a job - just for the sake of rolling eyes like jackie said . I have been on both sides too - only, when I was working I did not have kids. And as the 'non-mom worker' said, I had enuf pressure at work because of mothers crying their heart out and earning sympathy - all mothers who had a working, loving husband. they had the kids, so non-mom co-workers had to share the burden. they had jobs, so their family had to share the burden. They were juggling both - so their kids had to understand. just WHAT was the need for their jobs anyway??? I had decided then itself, that I would not work as a MOM. yes I dont want my kids to be raised by others, yes I made a choice. and I feel those who can make a choice, at least those SHOULD. Kids of such double income families get too very pampered in compensation of missing Mommy. Such kids increase peer pressure on kids from single income families who cannot afford the goodies the formers flaunt.
—Guest lucky

Mums all do the best they know how to do

My baby is 17months and I am now faced with a job prospect which, financially we really need to take! But I am crying at the thought of it! Working mothers deserve a HUGE pat on the back and I dnt think most SAHM's appreciate just how hard it is to leave your kids so you can provide a better future for them. To me, a SAHM's role is easier, (Im doing it!) but you do sacrifice luxuries for it as its the case for anyone who doesnt work. There is good and bad points to everything so live and let live but give people credit where it is due
—Guest Sharlsie

To the non mom worker

we do understand you would like to see your parents, but assuming that you are not working all day, and your family isnt far away, you still have time to see them. However santa bringing your kid, who only recently started understanding christmas, toys only happens once. Or Try having to tell your tearful kindergartner, that no you dont think work is more important than spending time with them is, but that you have to be able to feed them.
—Guest Becca

why are you the one working

I hate when people start questioning why my husband stays at home and im the one working. Because he has bad kidneys, working isnt really an option for him now. Due to all the doctors appointments, and the pain he wouldnt be able to actually work. However people always give funny looks when I state that my husband is a stay at home dad, I dont know what they assume but it always feels like they are stating that because I work and he stays home its wrong. Like he is a bad man, because I work and he doesnt. however if he could work he would, it just isnt really feasible at the moment. And another one I got from a young girl without kids was "id simply make staying at home with my baby work, regardless of situation" Well that sounds nice, but in reality, staying at home no matter the cost, would leave my family with no food, no house, no diapers, etc. Id love to be able to make it work staying at home with my son, but given the current situation, someone NEEDS to work. Its what buys food
—Guest Becca

To work or not to work when having kids

To those women who have husbands & don't work...You are lucky beotches for sure.Wouldn't it be something though if you woke up one day with your husband saying,I want a divorce & you were forced to go to work to support you & the kids.Well,there's plenty of us women out there where that's happened & we don't have the LUXURY of deciding to work or not to work.When I got married,I never thought I was going to be divorced with a kid..alone with no one helping.So wake up & smell the roses ladies,you're child will be ok.I was raised with a stay at home mom who was overprotective & really didn't let me do anything.Growing up with lived without alot of "things" other kids had.We had a roof over our heads,food & limited clean clothing but not too much extravagance.My mom claims that if she would have worked,my brother & I would have turned out differently.Maybe so.One thing I didn't gain growing up was "responsibility" because mom did everything for us & "independence".Never spread my wings.
—Guest Divorced Single Parent Mom

About to lose my cool.......

I am tired of being critiqued for being a working mom, and critiqued that I don't drive my baby 3 to 4 hours to visit "family" in all my SPARE time, and don't hand over my baby enough when we are at family functions. What kind of crazy message is that? I should be with my child more as long as it doesn't inconvenience them? I am also getting frustrated that playgroups near us are generally for stay at home moms only. What is with that? Does me working make my daughter different? she is well socialized and happy. And don't get me started on the critiques over feeding my child formula and using disposable diapers. We do what works for our happy well adjusted child. Can't folks just mind their own and stow there opinion? I don't share opinions on how others raise their children, as long as the kids are happy and healthy and the parents are managing their stress adequately, life is good!!I don't have time to analyze beyond that. I am so appreciative to vent in this forum.
—Guest Hardworking mommy

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Working Mothers Share Comments They Hate to Hear

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