Guilty yet Proud
- I am a full-time assistant professor and I leave my 5 year old daughter with my in-laws when I go to work. I feel so unhappy. In India, women like us are usually bound to leave their children with in-laws... leaving my daughter with my own parents would have made life so much easier for me but my husband does not understand. And because I am so unhappy I scream and shout at my daughter who gets very confused with me... I want her to know that I love her and want to give her a good life...but everyone in my in-laws' makes me feel horrible about myself. I hate this life. I wish I could live with my husband and daughter somewhere outside...
- —Guest Maushumi
Wish I could be more of a mom
- this post made me tear.i can totally retlae cause that's all i've felt after getting pregnant (not planned) with my third when the twins were so young. i was either too sick, too tired, too busy with work after a promotion, or too big to be the mom i wanted to be. it was the worst before bedtime when it took every ounce of me to get through those last minutes, alone. i was pretty much a zombie at that point, barely speaking and engaging them. i cried a ton during that period cause i felt like i was robbing them of their childhood since i was barely functioning. anyways, after the birth of our daughter, it hasn't gotten better. trying to juggle all three has been intense and i unfortunately don't see things turning around for a while. i just pray that i'm doing enough. the hubs is last in line, but he understands. we're basically in survival mode these days a beer at night, coffee in the morning, no wonder my milk supply sucks. heh. anyways, hang in there! you wouldn't be a mom if you didn't have to juggle it all. once you're physically a 100% and olive has grown some, you'll get into the swing of things and hopefully seem somewhat easier.
- —Guest ImtmhpJLZLPl
Tough Gig-Working Parent
- I am working f/t and I have a toddler in daycare. It is so tough. I miss him so. I daydream about being home with him.
- —Guest Liz
So Mad at Myself...
- I get so angry at myself. My job is well paying and over all I enjoy it, love the people I work for although it can be stressful. I thought I did everything right in life financially, never creating debt. When I was pregnant with my ODD I worked full time right up to her birth, she was a month early I beleive from over working. I always assumed I'd return full time...until I had her. I cried leaving her after my 2.5 month maternity leave. It actually hurts. I returned part time adding only a few more hours after a year to get us by. We have since had a son. With mounting medical bills we have been slowly getting in the hole. My mother watches my children, we pay her a modist amount. I hate she gets days with them plus I feel responsible for her now. I hate my husband gets angry with me saying I'm mad at him for not making enough. I know I could fix this it all by working more but I don't want to. I want to be with my babies. They cry when I leave. It is unfair and hurts.
- —Guest 2MJsMama
Leaving Kids with Dad to Go to Office
- I hate going to the office. I wish I could work at home everyday, but they require me to be in three days a week and I can only telecommute Tu and Fri. I hate leaving my kids with my husband knowing that my 3YO and 1YO girls would prefer I be the one with them. I hate having so little energy and time with my kids.
- —Guest MamaC
Daddy Is Raising our baby
- One my little one was born, at that second, I got the guilt of, omg, I have to go back to work and leave him!!!??? I would just sit there breastfeeding him, and cry my heart out. After being home for 2 months with him, I headed back to work for 4 days a week, just for 2 months as a courtesy. My job wouldn’t allow me to just work 4 days a week. Just a note, I work because we need the money and health insurance, not because I enjoy my job…honestly, I hate it. My husband is home with our 15 month old from Mon-Thurs. I work 930-530, which means, I get maybe an hour in the morning with him, and about 2 hours before bedtime at night. On Fridays he heads to my Mother in Laws house all day… my husband “tries” to work from home, he usually heads to the office when I get home on Tues and Weds. If I was at home with him, life would be so much easier, I can totally be a SAHM, no prob
Am I making the right decision?
- I have a 2 year old and 6 month old and up until recently I've been working only a 3/day work week which has been working out pretty good. Recently my employer asked me to work an extra day a week, so I would now be at 4 days a week. When I started this new schedule I had to put my older son in a different day-care setting for 2 of the days because my current daycare provider didn't have additional days available to watch my son. My daughter is also with my mom 2 days a week and then at an in-home daycare 2 days a week. I never expected to feel so much guilt and anxiety about leaving my two children in someone else's care 4 days a week. It makes me sick to my stomach. I feel I cannot even relax really during the day until I'm back home with my children. The thing is I love my job but I love my children more, I really want to go back to working less but can't until they fill some openings at my work which could take awhile. I hate that I can't be around my kids as much and miss them!
- —Guest momofcutekids
Wish it was easier
- I am in school to become a PA and have internships for 12 hour days, by the time I am done I just can't even move my body. My poor 2 year old boy misses me but sometimes I feel he is even becoming accustomed to me not being around, which breaks my heart. I hate hearing from mil about his day or coming home to accidents etc, I know this happens with children but I feel that if I was there I could help him. Why can't life be easy? My son needs me and I need him...
- —Guest Sadmommy
- I am a single mother of 2, a 2 yr old and 3 mnth old. I work full time and for the last month i been wrkn atleast 16 hrs a day about 3x a week and it breaks my heart but i have a house payment and so many bills and i want to be able to give them everything i can. i dont plan to work to much more overtime but i feel like im missing out so much on my lil ones' i feel guilty but i gotta what i gotta do to do better for them.
- —Guest feeling guilty
Babysitting at work
- I manage a bunch of whiners and drama queens. The negativity at work drains me that I have little energy by the time I get home. I hate that all my energy is being spent 'taking care' of people that I don't even respect, when I could be spending real quality time with my babies.
- —Guest Mom of two
- I kinda feel guilty going back to work but we really don't have an option. My husband doesn't have the educational background to find a decent paying job so any job he did have would only cover daycare expenses, so he is the stay at home dad. Our daughter is 7 weeks old and he's doing a great job. I even come home to a clean house most days. I'm active duty military so I need to stay where I'm at so we have health insurance and the security of know how much and when the next paycheck is comming.
- —Guest Andrea
Angry and guilty...
- Not only do I feel guilty for having to stay home, but I'm upset that in our society, one income is usually not enough to support a family. We make very good money combined, but neither of us makes enough to sustain a good standard of living. On one income, we would fall just above the welfare income line, leaving us without any assistance. I am struggling with PPD because of the guilt, anger, and hurt I feel because of my job. I wonder if my husband feels as guilty as I do...
- —Guest SJames
Monday Mornings and summer are worst
- My son is 9 and he's been in daycare/school/summer camp full time since he was 2-1/2. What bothers me the most is that he's old enough now to guilt trip me because he has to go to summer camp. Why can't he have a "normal" summer? He's constantly asking me that. My job is VERY stressful, especially during summer time. It makes it VERY hard to be there for him the way he needs. Doesn't help me either as the stress wakes me up at night. When he's unhappy, I just want to give up. But, quitting would make things WAY worse. I have to work if we want to eat. Personally, I'm feeling VERY trapped.
- —Guest guest kim
- I'm finishing my doctorate under a horrible major prof. I have a 2 year old girl and a 1 year old boy. Every day I feel miserable leaving them. My MIL watches them during the day (living with us 5 days a week to do so), and every evening she tells me all the things I missed that day, repeatedly. I feel sick and trapped. The degree was not my dream, but my husbands, he now has his, and I really thought that when we were finished he'd be able to get a good job and I could raise the babies. but now he can't find a decent job, and I am stuck working just to pay the bills and provide insurance. desperate to be with them, desperate to get my MIL OUT OF MY HOUSE, miserably disappointed that this might not get better as I'd hoped, and furious that I constantly have to take care of everything.
- —Guest guest
- I was able to stay home with my son parttime in college, but after graduating, I had to join the work force. My son is now 5 and I have good days and bad. For my instant satisfaction, I would love to stay home with him, but thinking about it long term, working is what is best for our family. I finally have a career that I really like and know that if I were to stay at home and quit, I risk not finding a similar job in the future. I read a horror story of a former stay at home mom who got divorced and literally had no marketable experience since she didn't have a job for so long. I do not want to be that person. Whenever I get a resume with little work history on it (im a recruiter), I don't really give it a second glance, even if in the resume the person states they were raising a family...not that I am discriminating, but in this economy there are plenty of people to choose from with remarkable skills and past experiences, and being home with a family is not one of them unfortunately.
- —Guest A lot of things...