in conflict
- I have to go back to work because i really need the income but the idea of leaving my 11 months is really tearing my apart on the other hand i really need the money because we need medical insurance and starting a college fund for her.
- —Guest anhar
2 year old
- working is not a choice for me, its survival. my husband can't find work, but went back to school to hopefully make a better life for us all. i have to work 3 jobs to support our family and we are still on food stamps (oh but thankful for that, believe me). we have no family around. luckily we just found a wonderful, creative daycare for our 27 month old, but still this morning she cried when we pulled in the driveway and said "no auntie today!" because she wanted to stay with me. it was so hard to drop her off. at least i know she is in a safe place, before this, she was in a different care. she had persistent diaper rash and i began to suspect something - marked the inside of her diapers with a sharpie and found 2 out of 5 days one week, no diaper change for 8 hours.and still i had to leave her there a month while i looked for new care. i love working but not like this, i am exhausted so much that i have no energy for her. and we have ruled out a sibling due to finances!
- —redbrewmama
Listen to your heart
- Follow your natural inclinations. Consider that all baby animals are raised by their mothers. Maybe you can change jobs so that you can stay home in the mornings and then have a babysitter come from lunchtime through the 3 hour nap until 5 when you or your husband arrives back home. That way the child is only NOT with a parent for 1 or 2 hours in a whole day. If it is Granny who is babysitting, that is a bonus since grandmothers offer a different kind of love. Granny can get supper going too lightening the burden on you. I became a videographer when my youngest was 4 and I worked weekend and edited my videos during my children's nap time or when my husband was at home in the evenings. Be happy with one car, a clunker. Buy second hand clothes for the kids. Never order out or eat out...make your own pizza. Live in a smaller home. Don't go on any holidays. Do whatever it takes to be able to stay home. That is what I did. My grown kids are well adjusted, well educated and well rounded.
- —EnglishRobin
Giving up teaching
- I teach adults and am fed up having them keep their phones on in class and listen to their excuses about why they're late and why they are allowed to go early for their children. I missed a call from the nursery recently saying my daughter was sick and needed to come home as my phone was off in class. So, enough is enough. My child is now coming first and I'm giving up teaching. Fortunately I have another job working from home but I can now take my daughter to nursery and collect her all 3 days she's there, and I can be around for those bad days. Guilt got the better of me!
- —Laura
Working two jobs, husband at home
- I have a one year old that I miss so much. I work two jobs, while my husband stays at home with him. I can make more money in a shorter amount of time than my husband can, so that's why it worked out that way. I cry myself to sleep sometimes because I miss my little man so much. Sometimes, the only time I get with him is taking him out of his crib, after he has already fallen asleep for the night and I'm done with work, and cuddling with him while he's sleeping. I hope this doesn't last much longer. I would do anything to be able to spend time with him.
- —Guest AidensMommy
Going nuts
- I've been a full time employed single mom for 10 years, I am so tired of being stuck at the office until 5pm each day, having to rush home make dinner, take my son to karate, cub scouts, etc. This roller coaster never stops, if I have to do this until my son is 18 I really will go crazy, this is too much!! My employer is inflexible with the hours so not much I can do, except try to find another job, not easy in this economy. The worst part is that I have to go into debt just to work, because of daycare expenses!! What's the point of working when you can't pay bills, or have to put groceries on your credit card so you can pay daycare??
- —Guest Dandy123
Seems everyone is a stay-at-home mom
- I feel the most guilty when I talk to friends who are able to be stay-at-home moms or work only part-time. Working full-time, it seems like I will never have enough quality time with my son.
- —Guest Kimberly
No other activites for him
- My 5 year old son disclosed to my mom (who watches him while I work 40 hours a week) that he doesn't want to go to his Tae Kwon Do classes or any other activities that take time. He would rather spend all his time with me. I am a single mom and there are father abondonment issues here too. I have so little time for him with him on a day to day basis. I feel bad he needs more time than I have to give.
- —Guest LA
Guilt
- I have no choice but to be a working parent! And the guilt I feel is very over whelming at times. I seem to take it out on my husband! My daugter will be a year in 2 weeks. Does this ever get eaiser??
- —Guest No
guilty for wanting to be selfish...
- i had my son when i was 17 years old..got married to a older man who already has three kids including our son..i dropped out of high school wen i found out i was pregnant..moved out of my parents and got a home..while i was pregnant i had to stay at home with his 4 year old daughter...it drove me NUTS..i have never been the type to want to stay at home..so i got my GED and got a job and eventually started college and my mom kept my son well one year later my mom got sick of having to watch him day in and day out for me to do school/work..so i eventually got him in daycare and he loved it now he hates it cuz they took his friends out and moved them up and now he has to stay with younger babies until they get another open place for him to move up..he is a completely diff. child now ..its hard for me to even be around him..i dont know if i should take him out and stay home with him..cuz i wont be about to work and have money..ill just be in a trailer 24hrs a day..i dont know what2do. help
- —jbon8829
No Energy Left for Mothering!
- I feel bad that my best energy is often times spent on work. When at home, I am tired! Laundry, errands, calls etc take up the last bit of energy. I highly agree that life/work balance is the key.
- —Guest Jane
missed program
- I commute 2 hours a day, and work 10 hours. Not working or cutting my hours is not an option. Normally, everything is fine, but today I couldn't get off work to see my son's Christmas program. His grandma went and he was happy, but I feel bad missing it.
- —Guest nan
preschool - day care blues
- Some days my preschooler runs out the door for day care and many days it's a struggle, and some days it's like I'm sending him off to war and he is crying and I try to hold back tears. Today was tough and he cried and said he didnt want to leave and I finally broke down and cried with him on the couch. He hates to see me cry so he tried to be strong for me...so sad. I work from home but I cant work at my best when he is here so day care is necessary. Some days I try to keep him home out of guilt but then he just sits in front of a video game or cartoons while I work, and of course he wants my time in between too! I feel a deep pain that it has to be this way, but he also needs to interact with other children and bills need paid. I give him much love on the weekends and week nights and try to find balance. It's all about balance. I feel for all the working moms out there. You are doing your best and love your children deeply, what more can you ask for...they know they are loved!
- —Guest Gina
asleep whenever i arrived home
- whenever i arrived from work and he's already asleep
- —Guest sher
Chaos all the time
- I have a 12 and 14 year old at home. There is always something going on. Appts, After School stuff dont forget we have to eat tonight MOM. Homework and I have to make time for my mentally Mom also. If could just stay home I could keep up with my life. If I knew 15 years ago what I know now I never would have started working.
- —Guest Tiffany
End of the day whining
- When I pick up the kids at daycare and we are rushing home I always feel so guilty. They are whining and fighting and I think if I didn't work, everything would be easy.
- —MdMomof3
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